Home Sweet Home

Snagged from Mai's blog!

1. Before: “And they lived happily ever after.”
After: “The End.”

2. Before: “Man talks, woman listens.”
After: “Woman shouts, neighbors listen.”

3. Before: “When I hold your hand, it is love.”
After: “When I hold your hand, it is self-defense.”

4. Before: “You’re shopping? I’ll go with you”
After: “Let’s just meet after 2 hours or just text me when you’re done.”

5. Before: “We’ll have a sumptuous dinner buffet as my anniversary gift.”
After: “Here are my anniversary gifts – weight loss supplements.”

6. Before: “Till death do us part is my promise.”
After: “Till death do us part is my goal.”

7. Before: “Engagement ring.”
After: “Suffering.”

8. Before: “Is that all you are eating?”
After: “Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.”